do it means to you?...I guess not... it hurt me so much than i thought it will be...~ to know that it's maybe nothing to you.... '_'~...
linkin park's song easier to run is best suit me these days.. hah... i think i choose to run from this feeling rather than hurt my self in the end.. i don't need this anyway.. i still have many things to make me happier... this have to be end.. soon... T_T... it's easy to say.. but hard to do.. feelings aren't something that's easy to control.. sometimes this annoying feeling make me feel so happy and forgot about how it makes me feel misserable...

i want to find.. someone... that when i feel something special about him.. it doesn't makes me feel bad about myself... i want someone that understand me.. and see me (the real me i mean).. and when he sees it.. he still stay beside me... and i want to understand him too.. so we can share something different that both of us only can share each other...
the most wonderful feeling is when i'm not with him.. i can still feel his persistence... =).. because i know.. we care about each other...

once in my past.. i found that person... but then I couldn't be with him.. beacuse I don't want to him to know my feeling.. so i just pretend that i feel nothing and we just only bestfriends...
later on.. i know that he feels the same way.. but it's too late... although there is a part of me that want to be with him and ignored everything.. i can't hurt others.. in order to make me happy... it's not true happiness may i say..

because of that.. i don't want to run from my feelings again.. but then... something make me think that maybe i'm not that special for him... and i can't understand him also.. although i really want to do that... right now.. i just want to stay away from him... i didn't talk with him for 2 days.. and i'm still alive am i?? =D... maybe when i can control my feelings things can going well again...

to run... and not being hurt...

haaaaaah.. have many assignments these dayas... =_=.. but the good thing is i can forget about him =D.. thanks to database, operating system and advanced programming..~